Monthly Archives: July 2017

3 Critical Parts For Good Relationship Advice

Relationship advice is something everyone will need at some point in their lives. There’s a lot of advice out there, but not all of it is good. It can be very difficult to know who to trust. Not every relationship we are in will make it, some things just aren’t meant to be. But there are ways to take a good relationship and make it great. And there are ways to save a failing relationship by heeding some good relationship advice.

A piece of relationship advice I have found useful is that you need to have a vision of what you expect your relationship to be like. Did you know that many people spend more time planning their vacation than they spend thinking about relationships? Just stumbling through relationships trying to make it up as they go along may be one reason so many relationships fail. Try to spend some time thinking about these questions:

  1. Do you currently have a ‘vision’ of what you want in a relationship?
  2. If you could have a relationship set up any way you wanted to, what would it be like?
  3. If you knew you absolutely couldn’t fail, what would your ideal relationship be like?

If you are already in a relationship, you may be having some problems and you might be looking for some useful relationship advice. Sometimes it’s hard to spot relationship problems until they have reached a critical stage. Now you will have to scramble to try to save the relationship from breaking up. Maybe the best relationship advice to heed would be to keep the relationship problems from becoming major issues.

There is no such thing as a perfect relationship where there are no disagreements and conflicts. Everyone has their own set of needs and personality quirks, so there is bound to be conflict. The important thing is to communicate with each other. Good communication will foster healthier relationships that will last long term. Another key piece of relationship advice is to learn to forgive. Your partner is going to make mistakes and so are you. When you forgive your mate you have taken a huge step forward. After all, you may be the one who needs forgiveness next time, so forgive them the way you would want them to forgive you.

Sometimes it might be hard to see the point of getting relationship advice. Other people will have an outsider’s point of view on the relationship and the issues at hand. If you know someone who has a good relationship, they may be a good source of relationship advice. At least that way you will know the quality of the advice you are getting.

Fixing relationship problems is really difficult if you don’t know how. Want to get your love back and fix your relationship problems? Come discover a proven strategy to bring back the love in your relationship no matter how hopeless or difficult your situation appears.

Ten Steps to Keep Your Relationship Healthy

There are two times that people put the most effort into a relationship–at the beginning, and at the end. At the beginning, we want so much to spend time together that we will make time to do whatever it takes. At the end of a relationship, we spend a lot of effort just to keep ourselves together while our relationship is falling apart. Many people learn too late that the most important time to work on a relationship is . . . every day. Because, while choosing a good partner is essential, just committing to someone does not ensure years of happiness.

To continue to reap the rewards of a great relationship, there is a continual amount of work that must be done. Just as a farmer cannot sow his seeds and sit back until they mature, so it is that we cannot expect an initial commitment to carry us to a great relationship.

Following these 10 steps will help to keep your relationship healthy and thriving:

1. Give and take–Couples who have been married 50 years or more say that the number one reason their marriages have survived is “give and take.” There are times that our needs must be met, but there are also times when we need to sacrifice for the sake of our partner (and our relationship).

2. Dating–Dating is not just for meeting people. It is the number one ingredient in keeping a marriage fun. The more children there are in a relationship, the greater the need for dating. Dating can be defined as doing something enjoyable with your partner, outside the home, without the kids. One time a week is minimal for most couples.

3. Love is given–Love needs to be demonstrated in ways that are perceived as loving by our partner. Just to feel like we love our partner is not enough to keep their love tank full. For some, loving is receiving gifts or favors; for others physical touch or sex; and for others it is doing activities together. Just because we like something doesn’t mean our partner does. Love must be given in a way that it can be received.

4. Trust is earned–Without trust there can be no intimacy in a relationship. Trust, unlike love, is not given but can only be earned. We earn our partner’s trust by following through on our commitments and consistently behaving in a way that is good for our relationship.

5. Communicate honestly–Lack of honest communication indicates lack of trust or insecurity. Either is detrimental to a relationship. To be honest with each other means that there must be a freedom to express ideas that your partner does not like and does not have to like. When we agree that listening does not necessitate agreement, it is easier to be open and honest with each other.

6. Use the power of visualization–We can only achieve what we can conceive. The way you think about your partner and your future together will impact the way you feel and behave toward each other. Negative images must lead to corrective action or be replaced with positive ones. Positive thinking about your partner puts a gleam in your eye which is apparent to your partner.

7. Make your needs known–Eliminate all complaining by changing your complaints to requests. Requests risk rejection, but complaints guarantee it. Do you really want your spouse to stop watching TV or are you really wanting your spouse to sit and talk with you? Ask your spouse to sit and talk with you rather than complaining about his or her TV viewing.

8. Agree–Rather than listening for the part of what your partner is saying that you disagree with and then debating about it, listen for what your partner is saying that you agree with. Sometimes partners feel like you are looking for something to pick at because you only comment when you disagree. Frequent agreement will make the disagreements more tolerable.

9. Go the extra step–The little bit extra that we do for any job or relationship makes all the difference both in early dating and in maintaining the relationship. Make your spouse’s lunch? Include a little love note. Greet your spouse with a kiss? Kiss his or her neck too. Whatever you do, think about how you can add just a little more to make it special.

10. Make a relationship plan–Living from day to day without any goals for the future leads to routine, stagnation, boredom, or burnout. When you and your partner are working on goals together, you share something that the rest of the world doesn’t have. And that creates a special world for the two of you.

Just as it’s easier to change your car oil than to replace the transmission, so it is easier to work on your relationship before problems occur. Being in love has never been enough to maintain a long term relationship. Doing what it takes to have a good long term relationship, however, will increase your feelings of love. Working one on one with a relationship coach will give you more specific ways to address issues important to your relationship. Success can happen if you make it happen.

Jack Ito PhD is a licensed psychologist and relationship coach. In 14 years he has help fed more than 1000 men and women to have better relationships. Coach Jack specializes in improving relationships where one partner is reluctant or refusing to change.

About Successful Relationships

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What is it about successful relationships?

In some unspecified time in the future in the relationship couples will ask why do a number of relationships last while others do not. What is it about successful relationships will examine this very idea. Although no relationship is identical there are numerous regular questions that couples should ask for themselves to assist each other. This is primary given that we are all individuals furthermore therefore makes the relationship extraordinary. There are enquiries about successful relationships that different individuals can relate to if they decide to answer them.

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For men in the relationship you more probably likely be desirous in what can you do to make your lady love you. Obviously, you cannot make your woman love however this is something that has to most certainly be natural. Moreover, for women, you cannot make your man love you however you’d most certainly be curious in whether he loves you or not. To make any person love you by force will definitely leave the single alternative of separation. Thus the systems to approach your better half may possibly be to ask yourself does he love me. Deep down you can want him to love you for you are in concert.

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New Relationship Mistakes to Avoid

Are you in a new relationship? Feel like everything is going great, but worried that it all may come crashing down any minute? Everyone knows a new relationship can be a fragile thing; treat it with care by following these relationship tips and your new relationship may just become your new marriage someday.

1. “I Love You”
Yes you might think you’re ready, and maybe you think he’s ready too, but before you say it, be 100% sure you mean it. There a few words in the English language able to create so much joy, or sadness, as “I Love You.” Say “it” too early, and you risk turning your new relationship into a short term relationship. Wait until you’re sure you’re both ready and you’ll stand a much better chance of making it last a lifetime. Sometimes the feeling fades after just a few months; if that’s the case then you’ll be glad you didn’t say “it,” as it’ll be easier for you to move on. If after three to six months together you still feel that burning desire to say (and hear) those magical words though, then give it a go and see how he reacts. By that time he should have said it to you first anyway, so if he’s still un-enthusiastic to hear it, it’s time to leave him behind.

2. “You Lying Cheat”
If you are only a few months into a relationship and you have already cheated, you’re not in a real relationship. You’re not even in a “friends with benefits” type of relationship. If the person you’re seeing thinks you two are “exclusive,” but you’re seeing other people, it’s time to go over the ground rules again. Just don’t expect the conversation to end nicely.

3. “Change”
The last thing the one you want to be with wants to hear is how much he should change. When you start a relationship you think has meaning, you probably have done your homework on the other person for sometime now. You might even know him better than he knows himself. So why are you trying to change him? The guy you fell for is the guy with all the little quirks and occasional annoying habits, all of which made him so endearing in the first place. So don’t try to change him now. Not only will you usually argue to point of breaking up; but even if he does agree to change, he may resent you for it in the long term (if there is any.)

4. “I Wonder Where My Ex Is Right Now.”
Are you still thinking about your last relationship? Wondering where it went wrong, what could you have done to save it, what type of girl is he with now, etc.? If your answer is yes, then it’s time to end your current relationship NOW. You can’t expect to get anywhere with your new someone if you’re not over your old someone. So break it off, spend a few months away from dating altogether, and start fresh once you no longer pine for your Ex.

5. “OMG My Ex Used to Say/Do That Too”
Tying in with #4 above, do not compare your new man to your former one. Sure, there may be some similar qualities shared amongst the two, but that’s the last thing he wants to hear. After all, you don’t want to hear how you are so much like HIS Ex under the sheets do you?

And if all you’re thinking about are how they are so much the same man, it sounds like you are not over your Ex yet, and if you’ve read this list in order then you know what that means.

6. “The Past is the Past.”
So let it go. If you are still living in the past, be it by over analyzing what went wrong in your last relationship or dwelling on something negative that happened in your current relationship, your current relationship will not be able to blossom until you are able to leave the past missteps behind.

6-1. “. . . and The Future is Not Written”
By the same token, if you continually worry about the future of your relationship, you will not be able to grow together, and your relationship will eventually wither and die.

So what’s the best remedy for situations like these? Learn from the past, prepare for the future, but more than anything live in the present. Your relationship will grow by leaps and bounds when you both live each day to its fullest, without worry.

7. “Don’t You Dare Look at My Man!”
Though we would like to deny it, we all get jealous at times for whatever reason; i.e. when you catch your boyfriend glancing at that attractive woman who just walked by. Sure it might make you a bit annoyed when he does this, but don’t let it cause trouble in your new relationship. Arguments caused by jealousy can have a hugely negative impact on your relationship. If you find yourself feeling jealous of someone or something, take a step back and ask yourself why. If it’s an issue that looks like it will cause a problem in your relationship, then have a talk with your boyfriend to help find a solution. If it’s something small, like the aforementioned glance, then perhaps mention it in passing after your relationship has grown a bit; but do so playfully as in “I noticed you have a thing for redheads.” This will stimulate a much more gentle conversation, with a likely easier resolution.

8. “Wait, She Said What?”
We all have friends willing to give us advice on virtually any topic, including our relationships. When they talk, we listen. But sometimes, especially when it involves a new relationship, it’s best not to. Usually your friends will only have your best interests in mind, but they are human and as such can be prone to jealousy and may not want to see you with your new boyfriend. Other times, they will pass on things they’ve heard from others, which may have been taken out of context or may just be (unbeknownst to them) completely false. So always consider how, where, and why your friends are giving you their advice, as at the end of the day it is your relationship, not theirs.

9. “Honey, I Want to Tell You Something.”
Although this is the last item on our list, it may just be the most important. A relationship is as strong as the bonds of trust that hold it together. If you feel that, especially after some time together, there are things you must hide from your partner, then there is a major trust problem that would be best worked out immediately, either on your own or with professional help before moving your relationship further. If you want your new relationship to blossom into a lifelong relationship, then trust in your partner is absolutely vital.