Monthly Archives: September 2017

Matter of Choice in Long Distance Relationships

Have you ever come across someone who just kept saying that a long distance relationship would not work no matter how hard you try? It even sounds more familiar when he/she ends the conversation with the universal phrase such as “I know it because I saw lots of failed LDR” If you choose to listen to this kind of comment, then you choose to fail in your long distance relationship because you will never be able to survive your LDR. The reason is simple, you choose to listen to the wrong command or choose to believe the wrong concept.

I truly believe that everyone in this world have their own opinion which is best to them all the time. What they think is true to them because they are capable of thinking only the true thing. I don’t blame them because they are true at least in their own little world. It is all up to us to believe what is said or we can choose to believe that every outcome is at our own hand. Let me tell you this, you can completely determine your own outcome when it comes to a long distance relationship. How you think what you do can really determine the result of your LDR. If you choose to believe that you can determine the outcome of your long distance relationship, then your LDR journey will becomes easier or more predictable.

Below are some examples of the positive choices you can make in relation to your long distance relationship.

1) Believe in Yourself, Your Partner and the Relationship

Throughout the period of a long distance relationship, nothing beats the trust and believes you had in yourself, your partner and the relationship. You can prepare yourself whatever you want but if you do not believe that your long distance relationship will work then, nothing matters anymore. Therefore, you must choose to believe that the relationship will work regardless of all the odds mounting against your relationship.

2) Set Back is a Way to Strengthen your Relationship

There are no such things as a perfect romantic relationship and needless to say when it comes to long distance relationships. Set back is part and parcel of a relationship but how you tune yourself to see the set back is very important. You can choose to see it negatively or positively and the outcome (solutions) derived from what you choose can determine the course of your relationship. Therefore, instead of viewing the set back as a hindrance or threat to your long distance relationship, you must view it as an opportunity for you to strengthen the relationship.

3) You can Choose to Win or Lose

It is our nature to see only the negative side of everything due to lack of self confidence and uncertainties. We do not blame you for having this thought as most of the couples in long distance relationship we work with, expressed the same concern. However do you know that the success rate for long distance relationship couples is as good as any other relationship? Research has proven that the success rate for long distance relationship is as high as 85%. With this data, you can choose to be in the positive 85% or choose to stay in the failure 15%. Therefore if you are serious about your long distance relationship, you must put yourself among the success 85%.

4) Opportunity in Distance

Physical distance in a long distance relationship is not necessary bad to the relationship. Although physical distance prevents you from certain physical activities such as hand holding, kissing, hugging and sex, it does not prevent you from advancing further into the relationship. The physical distance is a good opportunity for you to rediscover the relationship and yourself. You can always take the opportunity to upgrade yourself while your partner is away such as taking up the courses that you have always wanted to take and etc. In fact the distance will also test your patience, the love you had for your partner and as well as the integrity of the relationship itself. Therefore, instead of focusing on what you cannot do over the distance, you can always focus on what you can do to improve your relationship from the distance. What you choose here could really determine whether you are happy or not throughout your long distance relationship.

5) Problem in Communication.

Communication is one of the biggest elements that could either make or break your long distance relationship. Unfortunately, many people believe that they are not going to make it when it comes to communication due to the difficulties, time and cost involve. Instead of looking at the problems, you can always think of the opportunity that comes along. The biggest opportunity here is to learn how to communicate effectively over the distance. The valuable skill cannot be learned anywhere else as distance will automatically sharpen your conversation skill. If you start to think carefully, all other problem mentioned earlier can be solved easily with current available technology (Internet, VOIP phone, email and etc). Therefore, it is proven again that you have the ability to choose what is best for you in regards to long distance communication.

There are two sides to every coin and the above are just some of the examples of the choices you can make in your long distance relationship. How or what you choose really makes the difference throughout the period of your long distance relationship. The choice is at your hand, choose correctly and you will triumph regardless of any relationship. Lastly, I on behalf of Perfect-Relationship.com would like to wish you all the best to your long distance relationship.

Ways To Make Your Relationship Last Forever

Do you realize that it is perfectly possible for you to have a relationship that lasts forever? And a relationship that is not just normal, or struggling, but that is consistently great. I believe that you can have a relationship where you are soul mates with your partner, and in love, and that you can have this over many many years until your are finally separated by death.

I call such a relationship, a “lifelong soul mate” relationship.

I know that you hope for such a lifelong soul mate relationship, but I suspect that you believe that it is only possible for you in some abstract kind of way. You may even believe that such a relationship is not possible outside of fairy tales.

In this, the first of three articles, I share with you that it is possible for you to have a lifelong soul mate relationship. Not only is it possible, but also it is relatively simple to achieve this, providing certain simple rules are followed.

In my second article I share with you what you have to do. In my third article I share with you what you must avoid doing. As you will see, a lifelong soul mate relationship need not be difficult at all.

With regard to achieving a soul mate relationship all people can be divided into three categories. These are: (1) those in relationships that will never become lifelong soul mate relationships, (2) those in relationships that can become lifelong soul mate relationships, and (3) those currently not in a relationship.

(1) Relationships that will never become lifelong soul mates.

No matter how much you want your relationship to work, if your partner does not want it to work, then it won’t. As the saying goes, it takes two to tango. Many people actually do not want to be a lifelong soul mate, preferring instead a much lesser relationship. If your partner is one of these, you have a simple choice to make, Settle for a relationship that falls far short of being a lifelong soul mate relationship, or get a new relationship. The choice is yours. The rules for having a lifelong soul mate relationship will help you judge your current relationship to see if there is any possibility of it becoming such a relationship.

(2) Those relationships that have the potential to become lifelong soul mate relationships.

These are relationships where both parties are committed to the relationship, committed to a future together, and both are interested in deepening the relationship. The chances of this type of relationship becoming a lifelong soul mate relationship are good. And remember the rules for achieving this relationship are easy to follow.

(3) Those that are not currently in a relationship

For those that are not yet in a relationship the lifelong soul mate rules can be used to judge any prospective partner, increasing the likelihood that any relationship that you are about to enter into will be a lifelong soul mate relationship.

In my next article I set out the things that you must do in order to deepen your relationship into a lifelong soul mate relationship. And remember following the rules is not hard.

How To Recognize Relationship Breakdowns

In this complex world that we live in, one of the most complex things we have to deal with is ourselves and our relationships with others. In an ideal world, this should be simple, but we do not live in an ideal world, and the issue of relationships is anything but simple.

When we are born, we have a relationship with our parents. They teach us, they scold us, and they love us. But that point in our lives is the very last point in time when relationships will ever be even close to be simple.

In our teen years, the aspect of the importance of relationships goes right off the scale, surpassing almost everything else. Relationships are critical to us at that point. We are super conscious of what we wear, who we go out with, what our peers think of us, and if television and billboard advertising is to be believed, it is also of critical importance to our relationships and our future lot in life as to what brand of soda we drink and the brand of sneakers we wear.

Then we settle down, get married and start a family. The interesting thing is now that relationships get even more complex and diverse. Let’s look at some of the types of relationships that we need to be conscious of.

In business, customer relationships are very important, especially in the area of sales. Growing and strengthening the relationship you have with existing customers is every bit as important as finding new customers and forging new relationships. There are many things you can do to make your life easier here, but don’t let it all be electronic in this computer age, as there is still much to be said for the personal touch.

With friends and co-workers, we need to maintain a relationship that is part friendship and part business. This can be a fine line to walk for some people, but it can be done. A group or team that has respect for each other and trust in the opinions of others can be a major asset to any business organization.

Lastly is the interpersonal relationship with our spouse. The key to an effective relationship here is open, honest, and frequent communication. Remember, this was designed to be a long term commitment for both of you, and is takes both time and energy to consistently ensure that you are both on the same page, with common goals and desires. That cannot happen without a solid relationship, and a solid relationship cannot occur without good communications.

All too frequently, this interpersonal relationship with your spouse goes in directions that you never anticipated. Your spouse may have some major control issues, where they want to control every aspect and issue of your life, which will take away your uniqueness, the traits that comprise YOU. There are ways to recognize this and also ways to get this straightened out.

Other times, the relationship turns into being an abusive relationship. The definition of abuse does not need to necessarily mean physical abuse. This also encompasses mental abuse, verbal abuse and emotional abuse. Learn to recognize the different types of abuse and how to work with the different types.

What causes a relationship to break down? There can be many factors involved with this, and frequently this is a combination of many different things. Learn to watch for the signs of the relationship starting to break down and take the necessary steps to get the relationship back on the right track.

The topic of relationships is a complex one, but the best way to be able to create good solid relationships is communication. We are all unique with different needs, requirements, and abilities, but we need to be aware of the impact that relationships have on our everyday lives, and put forth the effort to keep those relationships solid.

Ways To Improve Your Interpersonal Relationships

Very few of us never have contact with the outside world or other people, and as a result, there is a relationship that is created whenever we interact with someone else. As time goes on, that relationship can remain stagnant, or as in the case of a love or dating relationship, that relationship can grow and flourish. But the real key to any meaningful relationship is effective communication between two people. That statement is every bit as true for interpersonal relationships as it is for business relationships, and also for the marital relationship between a husband and wife.

Effective communications cannot be stressed enough, especially in a marriage relationship. In today’s world where both husband and wife are holding down at least full time if not part time jobs, things happen during the course of a normal day. But it is only at the end of the day when two people are relaxing that effective communications can take place. It doesn’t matter how mundane, since even in mundane conversation you can learn a lot about another person, understanding what is important to them, what irritates them, and things they find enjoyable.

Suppose your partner is depressed about something, whether financial stress, job pressures, or anything else. How much time do you give to your partner to improve the mood? If your answer is “none or not much”, you are running the risk of your relationship starting to deteriorate. The breakdown of a relationship does not happen overnight, but it is all these “missed opportunities” to show care, understanding, and support that all add up over time.

Respect is a key ingredient of any relationship. If you do not feel you can trust someone, your communications with them will be brief or nonexistent. There is no real relationship there. That type of relationship may be fine for the checkout clerk at the grocery store, but how many people have that kind of relationship with their spouse? The real answer to that question will probably scare you, but you have control over that and the fate of that relationship, even your marital relationship, rests squarely in your hands.

Trust is another key element of any relationship, which goes hand in hand with respect. You need to feel you can trust the person you are communicating with. If you don’t have a level of trust with that person, even your spouse, then your communications will reflect that lack of trust. You won’t elaborate on things you say, you won’t go into details, and you will subconsciously leave out information that may leave you vulnerable to a future rebuttal or even attack from the other person.

Many times, especially in a marriage relationship, the three key elements of a relationship (communication, trust and respect) slowly start to erode over time. It is typically not a conscious thing, but it can happen if both spouses are not aware that they need to keep all levels of these elements at peak values consistently. So what happens as these components start to degrade? That relationship can develop into an abusive relationship. This is particularly difficult in a marriage relationship – when the checkout clerk at the grocery store abuses you, you can report them to their management or you can just decide to shop somewhere else. But in a marriage relationship, it is not nearly as clear-cut at that, nor nearly as simple. The marriage equivalent of “shopping somewhere else” is divorce, which although being a very drastic step, is sometimes the best solution for both parties when the respect, the trust, and the communications have degraded to the point where both parties are unwilling to put in enough time and effort that will be required to rebuild those elements.

Although divorce should not be considering as your first option, it can certainly be a viable option, depending on the state of your relationship. You should visit the web site Divorce Advice to get more insights into whether this is your best option or not.

Take care of your relationships and understand how you can improve them on a regular basis, and those relationships can grow and flourish over time, where you can gain comfort during the dark times and share your joys in the good times.